Most weeks I enjoy Sunday church. Especially now that Bella the Beast goes to her nursery class all by herself without screaming and tantrums. Sunday church is refreshing and uplifting. A tall glass of rejuvenation.
Yesterday was NOT one of those Sundays. It was a disgustingly hot day. One where thick globs of humidity stuck like black pitch tar to your skin. I was supposed to be teaching the womens classso I was flustered and busy. Especially since i was delayed coming back from a tsunami research trip to American Samoa. Where flights got stopped because of a possible tsunami from Chile. Anyway, we made it to the first meeting on time ( minor miracle in itself). But somehow, no one had thought to check whether Bella the Beast had any pants on. Shes going through a toilet training phase so she loves to take her undies off and scurrry off to the bathroom when nobodys paying attention to her. My beautiful two year old is strolling down the main aisle of church when she picks up the hem of the pink fluff confection she got from her Nana’s store Plantation House, pulls up her dress and flashes the congregation with a free show of her bare bum.
Shock, horror from her mother. And siblings who are terribly embarassed. Of course it then becomes Mothers job to take her to bathroom to put a diaper on her. But Bella the Beast doesnt want to put a diaper on., She doesnt want to put undies on. She’s a BIG GIRL MAMA! She wants to use the toilet. So i humor her. When shes done, i try to help her but she fights me with more protests. NO BELLA BIG GIRL! We’re struggling there in the cubicle when she flushes the toilet – just as my Swarovski crystal ring ( gift from Nana PLantation House) falls off my finger. Yes thats right. It gets flushed in a mini toilet tsunami. AFter the water has subsided there is absolutely no sign of my sparkly ring. The one that my kids say makes me look like a rapper gangsta….i really liked looking like a rapper gangsta….
I say lots of ‘flowers’ rubbish bin words. I want to whack her backside. But she smiles up at me and repeats all the flowers rubbish bin words. A hopeful thought crosses my mind. Maybe the husband who is terribly clever – can figure out a way to unscrew the pipes and miraculously discover my crystal ring in the plumbing? It happens in the movies right!? Back in the meeting i tell my sad tale of woe to the husband. Who tells me – dont worry, material things dont matter. Especially not when you have me! Im a much better treasure than Swarovski crystals!
How can one argue with such anti-materialistic sentiments? Especially when one is in church? And to top it all off, he then tells me that one should not be wearing rapper gangsta rings to church anyway…
It was a day for lots of rubbish bin words.