"But Mama, I love him!"


Last night there was a hysterical meltdown when I informed the Beast she could NOT have her chicken sleep in her bed. (This is directly correlated to the fact that the Beast still sleeps in MY bed and there is no way in hell I was having a McNugget sitting on my pillow.) The Beast was incensed. Wounded.

“But Mama – I LOVE HIM!” Plaintively at first. And then when that didn’t work. Threats.
“Mama – I be musu to you, I said, I LOVE HIM! ” Announced with bellowing rage. And then the real kicker. “I NO LOVE YOU MAMA!”

Aaaah, how flimsy is the love of a 2 yr old… How quickly I am replaced in her affections. It seemed as if all the GF chocolate cakes in the world could not reinstate me in her LOVE list. My mother remarked with the smugness of a prophet of doom and gloom. “Just wait till she grows up and gets a boyfriend.”( Can you tell that maybe me and my sisters gave my mother a rough time when we decided boys were the bees knees? And now she is eagerly awaiting the day that we suffer similar torment when OUR daughters make the same decision?!)

The Beast’s rage was not enough to budge me. The Nugget was exiled downstairs to sleep in a box. The Beast muttered at me darkly from a corner of conspiring naughtiness. Then, today, something interesting happened. The Nugget pooped. Right in front of the Beast. Right on her foot in fact. A look of confusion as the Beast leant forward to get a better look. Then disgust.

“OOOOOOH yuckie! You poo! You dirty chicken! Ewwwwww…..”

And just like that, Nugget was relegated to outer darkness. The Beast doesn’t want to carry him anymore. She doesn’t want to snuggle him anymore. And she definitely doesn’t want to let him sit on her head. He jumped out of his box just now and we called the Beast to come catch him. Fervent shaking of her head.

“NO. Chicken too dirty. Bella clean. I uma bath.” And she went back to watching Hi-Five. Nugget-less. And I am happy and hopeful that Nugget can be relased back into the wild outdoors where he can run free and join the great circle of life where Mufasa watches over all. Now let’s just hope that the Beast will be as easily shaken in the not too far off future when a grotty boy she is enamoured of, does something equally thoughtless.

Ha.Wise (old) mother knows best. Young love. Never lasts. It just can’t handle reality when it poops on you.

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