Just a Trademe Junkie

I’m in the bad books. Or to put it more precisely – Im in the ‘Naughty Spot’. (If youve never seen that child rearing show where a British Nanny goes round telling people what crappy parents they are, then you really need to check it out. And appoint a designated ‘Naughty Spot’ for your house. It really does work – tell the Beast she’s going to the naughty spot and she starts shrieking, ‘No i sorry, i be good! I said I BE GOOD!’ So i highly recommend you find a naughty spot for your house. And NO its not a spot where you and your Significant Other can get up to naughty things in…) I digress.

I was saying, that I have been thoroughly reprimanded by HRH and the teenagers because I am a Trademe junkie. Just one week with broadband wireless internet and I have gone slightly crackers over an online auction trading site. Its where thousands of people post their new, used and (some absolute useless) junk for other idiots, i mean people, to fall in lust with , bid on and buy. A few clicks of a button and that item can be delivered to your doorstep. Its truly amazing.

You dont have to spend an hour finding something to wear( that you dont look fat in.), find a parking space at the mall, fight the post-Xmas crowds, pay for lunch at the eatery, or eat that rumnraisin ice cream you really didnt need. No. Bid. Win. Pay. Enter address. Voila! Its yours! I LOVE it. Love it love it love it.

Now there are drivels of people who find wonderful bargains on Trademe. Washing machines for 50 bucks. With complimentary stain removal tips shared by Brad Pitt. Ipods for 20 dollars that are so flash you are guaranteed to get mugged the first time you go running with them. Yes, people are scoring beautiful bargains on Trademe everyday. Every minute.

Except, I am not one of those people. Because ( as my family have so kindly pointed out to me) the stuff that I bid on and purchased – is actually NOT at bargain prices. In fact, its stuff i could get much cheaper if i just got off my bargain-hunting-butt and went to the shops and looked with my bargain-hunting-blind-eyes. For example, I bought a trampoline. For ONLY $499! Plus $20 delivery. I was gleeful. Until HRH pointed out that the same trampoline was available at Warehouse for $300. Oops. A simply stunning set of plasticware with its own storage carousel called my name for a mere $30…and i answered. But i had been sorely misled by its artificial ‘cheap’ charms because there was a bigger, better set at Briscoes. “MUUUM look at that! How much did you pay for that plastic stuff on Trademe?!” (Umm none of your business?) I bought a 3-wheeler trike for the Beast for $95. And then a flyer came in the mail today from K-Mart. Where a regular bike with training wheels…and a helmet and a bell and a jet-propulsion rocket for trips to Mars is going for only $60. I tried to chuck it in the trash before the bargain-patrol saw it but too late. I was lectured too again.

And so I have been forbidden to Trade again. Everyone has appointed themselves little do-gooder Trademe police now. I take furtive little visits to the latest postings and there’s a chorus…’Daaad! Mum’s going on Trademe again!’

And i have to shriek, “No! not the naughty spot…I be good, i said, I BE GOOD DAMMNIT!”

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