Rock this Tooth Fairy

The truth hurts.I can be a really horrible person. And a nasty mother.

My 7yr old son is very fiapoko. That means – he’s a little knowitall. He argues with his teacher. Contradicts his father. Corrects his mother. Mutters under his breath at his big brother. And generally irritates us all to death. So much that I find myself at times, reverting to childish, evil mother behaviour.(Cue wicked witch laugh here.)

Last week his sister’s tooth fell out. She carefully stowed it away for the Tooth Fairy. Her rotten brother announced, “The Tooth Fairy isn’t real you silly! It’s just your parents giving you money.” Sister’s lower lip trembled, “No! The tooth fairy is real, so there!” Rotten brother sneered knowingly and laughed. “No its not. Dont be such a baby!” I was tempted to fasi him.

That night the Rock sneaked into our house, dressed in a glittery tutu and wings the Tooth Fairy (aka ME wearing trackpants, 3 sweaters and a hoodie because its so damn cold) came to take sister’s tooth when she was asleep. The next morning, as Little Sister expressed joy over her money – Rotten Brother just had to jump in again with his two cents worth. “Mum and Dad left you that money. The tooth fairy isnt real. You dont know anything.” I really wanted to fasi him.

Today one of the Fiapoko’s teeth falls out. He is jubilant. “Haha! I’m gonna get some money tonight! Im gonna buy chewing gum and a candy bar from the dairy ! Haha!”

I give him the evil eye. “But I thought you said the Tooth Fairy wasnt real?”

He shrugs and gives Little Sister a defiant stare, “That’s right. The tooth fairy isn’t real.”

I smile. Sweetly. “Well I’ve got news for you then. Tooth fairies only want teeth that belong to children who actually believe in them. You dont, so give me your tooth so i can chuck it in the rubbish bin.”

He tries to protest. Whine. Telling me “No, I believe! I believe!”

I am unmoved. “No. You’re just saying that now because you want money. You’re absolutely right. The Tooth Fairy isn’t real so its a waste of time saving that nasty ole tooth. Get rid of it. NO MONEY FOR YOU!”

He was sad. I wasnt.I was jubliant that i had finally got one over this knowitall child. Ha. Gotcha! He skulked away to sulk in his room. I didnt. I did the touchdown victory dance. Yeah, that’s right! Can you smell what the Rock is cookin!? hmmm, now who’s the child here?!

So, no – not one of my better mother moments. But at least i didnt give in to the desire to fasi someone.

The only Tooth Fairy I want visiting me.

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3 comments

  1. Okay Lani, so first you make me feel better about my R, and now you're seriously cracking me up 🙂 Ha, "No money for you!" That was the best. Tooth fairy or no, you're hilarious.Oh, and I'm glad you didn't fasi anyone either!Ninja Girl

  2. Aha! You're not the one. Completely relatable and sometimes kids have to learn the hard way about tough love. He'll understand later what it means to believe and to dream. @LyfesLyrics

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