The World according to a Beast

More evidence I’m a bad mother – the very NON.PC vocab of my 3yr old Beast. At her preschool she is …

* best friends with someone she calls, “Chinaboy.” But darling, what’s his name? “Chinaboy! I already tell you!” And then she catches sight of him arriving with his mum and she yells, “There he is! Hi Chinaboy!” And I die.

* mad at a little girl for pushing her, “You know the White Girl? She be mean to me.” Umm darling, which little girl are you talking about? The Beast stares at me like Im really stupid. “The White One! Over there!” And she points to a sea of swarming fair-skinned children. I give up.

*amused by a little boy with freckles who likes to do an odd little dance in the playground. “That boy with the spots on his face – he’s so funny!”

*Entranced by the turbanned father of one of the students, “Ooh look he’s got a donut towel on his head! Look at his head mama!” Shh..”But look!” Shh..don’t point. Don’t be rude. “But he’s got a donut on his head! Can I have one too? Hey funny girl, your dad’s got a funny donut on his head!”

And then off she runs to play. With Chinaboy, White Girl, Boy with Spots on his Face and Funny Girl with Donut-head father.

I wonder what they all call her? ‘The Bossy Beastly Brown Girl’?



  1. Ha ha, this is hilarious. My little monster's 2 bestys are South African and Vietnamese girls, but is frenemies with the Tongan twins whom are the only fobs in the school. I asked her why she's not friends with them and she says cos they're same as her.

  2. She already knows her fobs haha! I wonder if we were as 'clever', strong willed and outspoken as our kids… Im just hoping some other parent with no sense of humour – doesnt hear my Beast and then file a complain with the Human Race RElations commission or something.

Leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s