Why do Women Love Edward Cullen?

Why do so many women love Edward Cullen so much? I have spent many hours a couple of fleeting minutes musing upon this question and come up with one undeniable conclusion.

Because Edward Cullen is really – a WOMAN in disguise. Consider the evidence…

1. He always wants to know what you’re thinking. And it drives him nuts when he can’t read your mind. ( Hello, is this not every womans constant whine? “Tell me what you’re thinking honey.” Nothing. “Nothing? How can you think of NOTHING? You just dont want to share what you’re thinking. You dont really love me do you? If you did, you would tell me what you’re blaady well thinking!” Unfortunate man then shoots himself in frustration because he really was thinking of nothing.)

2. He has impeccable manners. (Sorry, to be sexist, but there’s a higher percentage of females who have beautiful manners than males. It’s just a fact. So there.)

3. He always notices what you smell like.

4. He can function on no sleep.

5. He’s always telling you what to do,how to drive, what to drive, what to eat,where to go,what college to apply to…Because of course he knows WAAAAY better than you whats best for you. (Control freak, bossy wife/mother/girlfriend/lover alert)

6. He’s beautiful and sparkly.(Bling bling!)

7.He’s incredibly patient with infants – I mean PEOPLE who are yeeeeears younger than he is. Even though they are incredibly derrrr and tiresome. And dont know anywhere near as much as he does. About anything. Still patient. Still loves them. (Hello, can that Bella girl be any dumber or any more tiresome?)

8. He likes to hang out in meadows full of flowers. Just because. (Since when did you meet a guy who liked to do that?)

9. His bedroom is really clean and tidy. His music is organized and structured.

10. He prepares the food (think chase and kill deer). Then serves it to the person he loves and waits patiently till they’re done.

11. He spends most of his time analyzing everything. Every word. Every possible thought. Every action. Every possible word and action.

12. He is tireless. He kills bad vampires AND cleans up the mess.

But if you cant accept any of this as evidence, Im willing to concede that the reason why so many women love Edward Cullen – is just because he’s hot. (In a very cold-skinned vampire kinda way.)

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11 comments

  1. LOL, Lani, this was great. I suppose this can go both ways as it brought to mind Higgins and Pickeriqngs' musical(?)pondering about Eliza Dolittle: Why can't a woman be more like a man?Joanna AislinnDream. Believe. Strive. Achieve!NO MATTER WHYThe Wild Rose Presswww.joannaaislinn.comwww.joannaaislinn.wordpress.com

  2. Hahaha! Hehehe! SNORT. Teehee. Oh my gosh. This was hilarious! Um… yeah. It's just because he's hot. Really. Not at ALL because he's almost a woman. Heehee. You're killing me.

  3. Robert Pattinson is hot! Edward Cullen is… well it's like you said, he's a bloody woman! And being a girl that's always liked her manly men… Not good enough mate. Not good enough.

  4. Lol, I told my wife he wasn't a man for a lot of the same reasons you gave. I'm glad my bad Edward post was inspirational, this was a great post and cracked me up.

  5. My Fair Lady – is one of my all time fave movies Joanna.I havent thought about it or watched it in years tho and yes, its EXACTLY like that scene/song from Higgins. LOLGlad you liked it Peggy- although i see you're still hanging on to Edward's hotness factor ay?! ( a little hard to shake loose though I admit.)Stella from Le Touriste – a post on 'Why we Love Jacob' is forthcoming very soon. It will be very easy to write. And a very short read. It will say: "Women love Jacob because he's super hot. (Brown, rippling muscle, impetuous, the epitome of the wild bad boy.) The End."See thats where I disagree Lillidonna – I dont like Pattinson as Edward. The Edward in my mind was much bigger. And he didnt wear so much makeup. And they didnt have to paint on his abs. But defn – not manly enough anyway!Thats an excellent point Laura which i missed. Yes, Edward is more moody than a woman at the wrong time of the month.TL – as the one man to comment on this post, I am extra appreciative of your male viewpoint. Thank you! However, I wish to pose you with a question, IF so many women the world over absolutely ADORE Edward Cullen and yet you yourself note that he's such a (wuss)girl, what deeply philosophical message should men attach to this? Hmmm…food for thought…LOL

  6. Haha alright alright I'll come clean, I'm a sucker for a British accent hehe. I like R-Pattz… he's sorta cheeky and seems fun. But you don't see any of this in his portrayal of Edward Cullen… he's just sorta patronising with a hint of creepy. @ Laura – LOL! Yeah the moodiness is confusing… I mean, dude aren't you like 90???

  7. Oh my! This really cracked me up. Thank you, Lani :)My favorite was the part about the bling lol. But I'm w/Le Touriste up there. I'm totally Team Jacob, can't help myself. Edward turned me off immediately when he started pulling that possessive crap :/

  8. I have always liked Edward from the start. It's his cold mysterious ways that I find attractive. Even if he knew what was bound to happen from the beginning, he didn't want to explain everything then made it seemed complex and risky. In the end, he still got what he wanted / Edward's Mistress

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