Marriage Can be such a Gamble

Sometimes I’m not sure how me and the Hot Man have stayed together for so long. We are such different people that I’m amazed we actually grew up on the same island and speak the same language. For example, winning the lottery. We were watching the lottery draw on TV and he said, “Imagine winning a million dollars? I just wouldn’t know how to spend all that money.”

Excuse me? Are you kidding? Did you inhale too much welding dust at work today? A measly ONE million dollars has your mind boggled? I would have no trouble spending that money. No trouble at all. In fact, I would have no trouble blowing 2,3,4…20 million dollars.

He is bemused. “But what would you spend it on?!”

Honey, what wouldn’t I spend it on? I could walk into the shopping mall right now and blow a million dollars in one afternoon. Not a problem.

He persists, “But what would you buy at the mall? There’s nothing there to spend a million dollars on!”

I am disgusted. He’s obviously been drinking too much Diet Coke. (Or gazing in delirium at my beautiful ever-shrinking luscious self…HAHA. Excuse me while I eat a donut.) How can he not remember that at the mall there are clothes, books, shoes, makeup that costs more than my car ( but will make me look like a supermodel), all new furniture for my house so it will look like Vogue magazine, rumnraisin ice cream and an iPad waiting, all with my name on it? And yes yes, some of the stuff has the childrens names on it too ( I’m not that selfish.) But the Hot Man doesn’t get it.He’s talking about savings accounts and sharing money with all our twenty thousand relatives ( I dont know why. Dammnit, tell them to go buy their own lottery ticket) And I’m wasting my breath trying to explain it. It’s impossible. We are chasms apart when it comes to spending money.

How did me and this man ever meet, date, fall in love, get married and then stay married for this long? Hmm, one thing I do know for sure – it’s a very good thing that our religious beliefs prevent us from buying lottery tickets. Because if we ever won a few million dollars? We would probably have to separate. Amicably. At least until all the money was spent.

(Which, if it was up to me, would only take one afternoon.)

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9 comments

  1. It's funny you mentioned our religious beliefs. I am so tempted sometimes to buy a ticket..(you know..the brokeass that i am.).But then the undercover lavalava keeps reminding me"that's NOT right, remember the teachings of the church huney?" then I walk away fumbling with my fingers thinking "I could totally bunch you in the face for saying that danmit" lol

  2. I hear you sister. Temptation is a-calling me when Im at the dairy up the road…And i think, hmmm how could i get one and then hide it and make sure my kids dont see it? And then what do i do if i actually win something?! Would i have to donate it all to the starving children of the world because it was BAD money? Acquired via BAD gambling! Nah, not worth the headache. So I dont buy one. But I can still dream…

  3. Does your husband do drugs? I know EXACTLY what I'd do with all that $. I'm sure everyone has 'dreams' about what they would do if they were to suddenly win large amounts of money haha.

  4. My husband and I have zero in common either and sometimes it can be really aggravating, but for the most part, it's not bad because we have our own interests and he leaves me alone when I want to write and I leave him alone when he watched the rugby. It's win/win. Although neither of us would have any problems spending a million dollars in 5 minutes flat!

  5. The hubby and I are polar opposites most of the time (e.g. When he is sad, which is rare, he will say that he's feeling very sad. I look at his face, no tears or ugly facials. I bawl my eyes out with all the facial distortions when Jerry Maguire says 'You complete me', when Mufasa dies, and pretty much all the time).BUT one of the few things we do have in common is how to spend a few mil if we win Lotto. And just like you, we don't gamble. So we'll never get to share that loving bonding moment of agreement.

  6. Bina, your husband must be related to mine, or maybe most men are 'staunch' like that. I cry at every episode of Greys Anatomy on Tuesday nights. While he sits there and shakes his head at me. LOL at CG buying the Lotto tickets and flaunting them in our faces!

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