Bad Mothers Hate School Holidays

School holidays are upon us. Again.

 And again, we spend ages compiling a list of ’20 Fun, Educational, Creative Activities we are going to do for the Holidays”…and then we do maybe, um, two of them? And by the time school rolls around again, my daughter will inevitably ask, “But Mum, when are we going to make papier mache masks for our drama production of Sleeping Beauty? And we never went rock wall climbing like you said we would…and what happened to a nature walk in the Botanical gardens, a book scavenger hunt in the library, making our own playdough and face painting?” And then that background choir music that always seems to follow me around everywhere, sings in my head “Lani, you’re such a loser mother..oooooh ooh oooh. Bad mother, bad mother, bad mother.” I really hate school holidays…locked in a house with five children is not everyones idea of a fabulous time. No matter how fabulous those children are. So I’ve made myself a list to remind myself why I should love them.

1. I don’t have to get up early to make school lunches and harass children out the door. Instead I can stay in bed and write until 11am. (Which is what I did on DayOne. Instead of ‘making papier mache masks…)
2. I dont have to be super-consistent with the laundry since children don’t need school uniforms, which means I can lie on the sofa and read a book all afternoon. ( Like I did on DayTwo. Instead of that nature walk. Who needs nature anyway?) A child complains they have nothing clean to wear? No problem. “Stay in your pyjamas all day. And now look, oh its nighttime again. And you dont need to change! Yay!”
3. I dont have to badger children to go to bed early…brush teeth, read a story, pray, go to the toilet, drink some water, do the special hug and kiss, read another story, another kiss goodnite, drink some water, go to the toilet dammnit go to bed already! No. I dont have to care what time they go to bed since they don’t have to get up early So I can stay up all hours, go to a movie with the Hot Man, surf the net, write some more and be oblivious to the fact that children are still up playing XBox at umm…1am.

Three very good reasons why I should be happier that its school holidays. And to shut that ‘Loser Mother’ choir music thats screaming in my head, I even did some baking with the children today. Maybe we will all survive these holidays. Without too many mental mother breakdowns.

See – dont they look happy as they have a cooking lesson and make snickerdoodle cookies?! Right, thats enough creativity for one day. Back to the XBox folks!


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13 comments

  1. LOL! I know this all too well. I WISH I had a choir singing in my head. I only hear my mother's voice nagging at me. I'm going to make a mental note to change the voices inside my head. But hang in there. No more melt downs…lol ok maybe just one.

  2. Reenie – ohmigosh you hear your mums voice too? I still do as well. When my living room is messy i hear her telling me "what if unexpected visitors stop by, what will they think of you?" and i hear her telling me "when you were little i never let you kids play xbox all day. No i sent you out to play and thats how you nurtured your creativity and imaginations…only lazy women own an xbox…" i wonder if i will stop hearing that voice when I hit 40?

  3. Farmers posted a question yesterday on their FB page: "What tips do you have for surviving school holidays?"I laughed at "surviving". Not only because it seems a bit dramatic, but because … it's true. Lol!That baking photo is totally cute. Maybe when Lyla starts school I can send her up during school holidays for "A Baking Experience" with top-selling author and baking extraordinaire Lani 😀

  4. @Bina Yes "surviving" school holidays with all the kids home is exactly the right word for it. Lani, yes I sure do hear my mother's voice all the time. Especially when I'm getting dressed…"you're going to wear that?" LOL! or "you need to get the kids out the house more", or "you still haven't lost weight?". Mother's, ya gotta love them.

  5. Oh boy, I know I have this to look forward to. Right now, I'm with mine all the time, but they aren't big enough to play XBox…just hold onto my leg while I pull them around for ten hours. Btw.. "Stay in your pyjamas all day. And now look, oh its nighttime again. And you dont need to change! Yay!" made me laugh, because I did that today..not…*laughs nervously*

  6. 🙂 i am yet to experience all the fun times school holidays bring!. a few more years and my mischief maker will be in school. and i'll probably still be doing the same things i do now. lol. hope the holidays are enjoyable for you and your kiddies. lol. – i had a post from that nelson dude. i think i will "remove" as well.

  7. Reenie – my mother doesnt even have to say anymore than "Oh, are you going to wear that?" And it just expresses VOLUMES of disapproval, lol. Pusi Nofo – Im always grateful when another mother admits she's a bad mother. Theres safety and comfort in numbers…Bina – they should do a Survivor show with mothers trying to make it through school holidays. without spending buckets of money. Major mission impossible. I have a better idea – why dont i send MY wonderful children to Wellington to hang out with Lyla? Can you please teach them how to make thai food. And cheesecake. And dont send them back until they have perfected it please.Paige – u American stayhome mothers rock. In Samoa, I had a fulltime housekeeper/Nanny help me with the children when they were all really little so even tho I still felt like i was losing my mind, i did have some help with finding it. I dont know how you US moms do it. Im in NZ now with no Nanny and i cant even handle the school holidays!Hi Joan – yes i think Nelson is spamming all of us, lol.Jillian – that is the absolute best part about holidays. Except my husband still has to get up at 6 to go to work and i do feel the teensiest bit guilty that i can stay in bed until..umm…lunch?! (bad mother AND bad wife)

  8. I think your title should read, "All Mothers Hate School Holidays, unless they are big liar-faces or saints!"I have no idea what all the possibilities for "comment as" are. As soon as I do, I will sign in under an appropriate one:)Tanisha

  9. Tanisha – I cant stand those big liar faces or those saints, Im so glad that youre not one of them! Looking forward to going to that american food shop with you next week…when all these wonderful children are back at SCHOOL, yaaaay!

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