"Make it Hurt so Good"

 I’m not very good with pain. It hurts. Duh. When I was a teenager I had one ear pierced. I told people that it was because everybody has two ears pierced and I’m just rebellious like that. When the truth was, I only got one ear done because it hurt and I didn’t want to deal with pain on both sides of my brain. I reaaalllly wanted to get my nose pierced. I lusted for one of those little diamond studs on the side of one’s nostril. (I was a nerd for most of my life, excuse me for wanting to walk on the wild side.) But I never got one because it would hurt. Instead, I got one of those magnetic rings and wore that around. (Epitome of lame-ness, I know.) I reeeally want a tattoo. When we first fell in love the Hot Man went to have my name tattooed on his back. I eagerly said that I would have his name tattooed on mine. He went first. I…umm…went never. Chickened out. Still don’t have a single piece of body ink. ( But my name does look beeeyootiful on the Hot Man…)

I pondered upon pain the other day- as I had a troublesome tooth taken care of. (the best time to ponder pain). I realized that my problem is not so much the actual PAIN but the imagining, visualizing, anticipating and dreading of pain. And the imagining of all the things that could possibly go wrong while that pain is being administered. Maybe that’s one of the side-effects of being a writer with an overactive imagination? The whole time I’m at the dentist with my face numbed, I’m tensed up, fists clenched, eyes scrinched, WAITING for it to hurt. Psyching myself up not to punch the dentist in the face when that pain hits me..not to scream…not to jerk my face away thus causing the dentist to make a mistake and stab the steel drill into my throat…severing my carotid artery…causing the dental team to panic as my blood spurts all over the room and I stagger to my feet…bleed to death in a few messy minutes…collapse and die in a messy heap on the floor. Imagination Overkill. And then the dentist says, ‘That’s it. All done.’ And I breathe a sigh of relief. Glad that my carotid artery is still intact. I am still alive.

I’m pitiful I know. Which was further emphasized when it was time to take my Bella Beast for her 4 yr old immunizations, I was crying inside on her behalf. Cringing, whimpering silent tears as I smiled and told her to be brave. I was praying for angelic assistance on her behalf.  I was ready to kill nurses who don’t handle the needles properly and hurt my child unnecessarily. Especially when they told me they had to give her TWO shots at the exact same moment, one in each arm.

And then my daughter hopped up on the bed. Took off her shirt. Offered the nurses her arms. They shot her with needles. She didnt even flinch. Or cry. Or get mad. And when they were done, she took the candy they offered her, told them thank you and skipped out of there. Huh? And when I asked her, ‘Is your arm sore darling?’  She looked at me like I was idiot. ‘No. I got big muscles.’

What did I learn?
1. Bella is an embracer of pain.
2. Bella’s got big muscles.
3. Bella must not be related to me.

Are you an embracer of pain? Am I the only chicken in the blogging world? Oh, and bonus points for anyone who can identify the song that is the title of this blogpost!
  Ok, there’s chickens like me and then there’s seriously over the top nutsos…ouch.

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21 comments

  1. John Mellencamp 🙂 Mom used to listen to him…Im actually one of those people who enjoys pain to a certain point. I have two tatts and several piercings and aiming another tatt soon, but your blog was such a crackup, esp your little girl :)trooper

  2. Okay, that last picture has totally freaked me out. I have no intentions of getting any further body piercings (I have earrings) or a tattoo for the reasons you've mentioned. I just imagine it all to be such a painful experience. Someone said to me once that it doesn't hurt. It just feels like tiny bee stings over and over. What the heck? That hurts!! It's safe to say I wouldn't hold up under any form of torture. Not even the John Mellencamp kind…

  3. Ok that picture is truly horrifying. I think I have a higher pain tolerance than I assume I'm just too afraid to try painful things. I mean, some people want to do painful things…I guess…but I'm not one of them even.

  4. Yay for the John Mellencamp recognition! That song used to come on TV when i was little and I just KNEW that it was about something BAAAAD but I wasnt sure what, LOL. Lan, at least you have TWO ears pierced..lol. Im with you.Ive heard that lame justification too – 'little bee stings' WHAT THE FRIDGIN HECK? bee stings hurt, hello. Who wants zillions of them?Oh and glad you and Sarah agree, that pic is NASTY. I hope the girl who owns that back never reads my blog…sorry, but its NASTY.

  5. Hmmm… I guess you could say I'm an embracer of emotional pain and a tolerator of physical. I don't enjoy either, but I find the growth that can follow pretty awesome. Being *too* tolerant is a curse sometimes, so watch that strong Bella! My appendix burst and I thought I had a stomach ache and was stressed. The latter was true, but geesh! 😉

  6. Excellent warning there August – will need to keep a close eye on this super duper big muscles child and her pain tolerance levels. See, theres something to be said for total chicken wimp pai ntolerance – we will never mistake a burst appendix for a stomach ache. ( I have prob tho mistaken a stubbed toe for a broken foot…)

  7. Lani,I enjoy reading your blogs. Do you read minds by chance? haha! I say this because just a few days ago a friend and I were discussing tattoos. Her hubby like your Hot Man is going to get both her name and her son's name tattooed on himself. She was thinking about getting one too but was hesitant because of the pain factor.Needless to say we both agreed that her hubby could feel the pain and she would just watch him go under the needle. hahaha! I think I have a high tolerance for pain but then I see photos like your last photo and I change my mind all over again. shudders at the thought of that…no thanks!I was recently diagnosed with diabetes and needles used to scare me but like your strong Bella now its really not that bad. You get used to it, unfortunately.I like what August said about pain whether emotional or physical there is growth that comes out of it as well.p.s. I've heard once you've had kids that there's no other pain that can compare so imitating Arnold on Different Strokes, "whatchu talkin' bout Willis?" cheers!–Teinetoa4lyphe

  8. Any woman who gave birth 5 times is no chicken! And yes, I think what exacerbates the pain is the imagining of it and all it's possibilities. You're stronger than you know, but maybe not as strong as baby Bella. LOL! What a big girl!

  9. John Cougar Melloncamp- and it's a great sexy song! I understand what you mean – the dentist, doing taxes, going to the bosses office- my brain creates a crazy amount of chaos I get so scared and then it's usually nothing. I did get my belly button pierced- it hurt but not as bad as 9 months of trying to get it to heal and then having to take it out *pouts*

  10. I know the song, didn't know it was John Melloncamp. I learn something new from your blog every post. LOL Someone mentioned a high tolerance for pain wasn't always a good thing. So true. Twice I've held out on pain meds during labor for too long. By the time I couldn't take the pain anymore, it was too late for an epidural. And I have tattoos. But my older sister is just like you. My two sisters and I all got our dad's name on our arms, and it didn't take longer than 20 min. But she had to take a couple of shots of alcohol before she did her arm. She does not embrace pain AT ALL. Bella is a Beast, but in the bad a** sense of the word! My girls are like her too. All my boys, not so much. lol

  11. love this post lani. it resonates well with me because like you, i cannot tolerate voluntary pain. piercing my ears and then having them infected for several months after was enough for me to steer clear from other bodily piercings (that and the idea that my body is a temple 🙂 that last pic just screams pain to me.

  12. aww bella is such a trooper!. i dread those vaccination times as well. don't worry lani you're definitely not the only one who's overly active imagination stops them from doing things remotely painful. i think that's probably why i haven't yet got a tat. i keep telling myself that 'i'm thinking about it', about what i want so that i don't regret it later. but truth be-told i think the bigger factor is that – i would rather avoid pain all together. so yes, i am just like you. yet again, i see a reflection of myself in your posts!. j

  13. Hi Lan!! Haha- Bella must be 99% the hot man!! My hot man on the other hand- just a bout faints and the mention of needles. twice my daughter split her head and required stitches, and left the ER (with ME being the attending) with a steristrip plaster, or two, because the hubby -sweated, went pale, started hyperventilating over the mention of stitches..and then went into overprotective you dont know what she needs mode…and to think..he has a tatau pe'a….LOL!Nols!

  14. Lani,don't you have 5 kids? You do not give yourself enough credit, woman. Anyone with that many kids should at least be tolerable to pain at ANY level! Malo lava le onosa'i! 🙂

  15. I know, I know – 5 kids later, I should be a WWF wrestler, a storm trooper when it comes to pain. I find that the brain does amazing things to make us women block out the pain of childbirth etc. We forget it so quickly…otherwise, nobody would ever have any second children, lol. Nols – Yes, youve hit it exactly. The child is totally all Darren. He has root canals and extractions and bones set WITH NO pain killers at all. And he keeps telling me "its all in the mind, You have to go your happy place in your mind and trick your body into thinking that it loves the pain." His imagination defn is better than mine in that respect then since i could never trick my body into thinking pain was fun. He's terrible with the childrens pain tho. Hes like your Hot Man, he goes into panic mode and freaks out while I kick into calm zen mother mode.

  16. I had begged my mom for YEARS to let me pierce my ears, and when I was 14 she agreed. We did not have a place in my small town that did it, so we drove 40 minutes to the next "big" city and found a jewelery store that would do it. I hopped up on the stool and watched the clerk load the earring stud into the gun. Yes, the gun. I had never seen this before and asked, "Is this safe?" Oh, yes, quick and painless. She put the gun to my head, I mean, my ear and BOOM! in went the earring. and BOOM! there I went onto the floor, where I fell as I PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN. I wasn't going to let them do the other ear, but my mother hopped on the stool and said, "Oh, you big baby! Suck it up; they do it like this!" and without a flinch, she got her ears pierced for the first time at the age of 50. Well, I couldn't be outdone by an old lady, so I let them do the other ear, too. Wisely, they had me sit closer to the ground that time.

  17. Now, sadly, my one pierced ear has closed up and I have no piercings anywhere. Sigh. Time to get out the magnetic nose ring methinks? So i can really embarass my kids, LOL. Kathy – that is hilarious! Sorry, Im sure it was painful at the time, but how cool is your mum!? I see how some people get their babies ears pierced and Im wondering if my mother should have done that for me. Then the pain would only be a distant traumatic memory. And i would be able to wear fabulus earrings now. Elizabeth – Had to laugh at that. No, i dont think i got enough sasa's as a child lolJillian, the simultaneous shots was a new thing for me to see. Felt rather horrified for my daughter but it obviously worked well.

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