Ingredients for a great romance.

                                      Start with some of this…

I love going to the movies. I like the popcorn, the Diet Coke and the possibility of an ice cream. I like being swept away by a super duper story on screen. If I could, I would go to the movies every week. But there’s a problem. Hollywood does not make enough of the movies that I want to watch. I’ll tell you what I don’t want. I don’t want to watch somber, deeply moving, intellectually stimulating, profound movies that are making a statement about the universe which are so incredibly complex ( and boring) that you need a dictionary, a thesaurus, and Stephen Hawking’s brain to understand them. I also don’t want to watch a movie where everybody is being chased by tanks/aliens/gangsters/ mercenaries/assassins /sex offenders/psychopathic killers. Or a movie where every second word starts with F and rhymes with Luck. Or where everybody is either watching pole dancing strippers OR engaging in pole dancing stripper acts. I also despise movies with animals. With that in mind, here’s my letter to Hollywood,

Dear Hollywood, I wish you would make more of the movies I want to watch. Movies with:

1. Romance – Two people meet, sparks fly, they overcome some minor obstacles. Eg. of such obstacles could be…in ‘Kate and Leopold‘ the always hot Hugh Jackman is the very lost English baron time traveller who ends up in modern day New York, oh no, how will he and Meg Ryan’s love ever survive?! Or true love must overcome distance and grief like in ‘Sleepless in Seattle.’ Or internet love like in ‘You’ve got Mail.’ IF on the other hand one person in the relationship is a ghost and trying to sabotage the other person’s new relationship, that’s NOT a minor obstacle. It’s just dumb. (Especially if it has Eva Longoria starring in it, ‘Over her Dead Body.‘) Ugh.

         Lots of that… and of course Meg Ryan is the chick flick queen.
While said couple are overcoming obstacles, they hold hands, kiss, maybe get to second or third base and then they live happily ever after. Hollywood please take notes. That means, I don’t want to see people trying every position in the Kama Sutra. Or trying to get it on in 101 different places. Romance is about the long gazes, the possibilities, the anticipation, the breathless inner debates of ..’will she or won’t she?’

2.It goes without saying that a great romance must have a delectably great male lead. Not some pip-squeak adolescent who looks like Justin Bieber. Save them for the Mickey Mouse club followers. No, a great romance needs men of substance. Channing Tatum abs (and dance moves), Gerard Butler swag, Ryan Reynolds perfection, Chris Hemsworth chiselled-ness, Colin Firth restrained amazingness, Tom Cruise magnificence, Jason Momoa’s swarthy sultriness, Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine ‘bad boy’ferocity. And the list goes on.

                   Some of this always helps…
3. Finally, a decent movie must have a happy, feel-good ending. Please note, a love story where one person develops Alzheimers? Is NOT a happy ending. (Damn you Notebook.) A love story where the beautiful Richard Gere dies in the end is a miserable love story. (I sure as hell don’t want to spend any of my nights in Rodanthe.) So is a girl-power movie where they drive off a cliff at the end. (Thelma and Louise, are you there? No, you’re not. Why? Because you’re both dead.) Why is it so difficult for Hollywood to understand what a ‘happy ending’ really is?

Some hints. Happy endings are where the beautiful Richard Gere drives off into the sunset with Julia Roberts Cinderella.  (So what if it’s an impossible story about a prostitute who falls in love with a somewhat nasty businessman. If you wanted feminist theory, you wouldn’t have been watching a movie entitled Pretty Woman.) Happy endings are where the Bridget Jones ‘fat chick’ keeps a diary and gets to live happily ever after with Colin Firth – even after he catches her wearing her thunder granny undies. Or where Sandra Bullock gets hitched to Ryan Reynolds in ‘The Proposal’ even after she’s been an incredible witch to him. Happy endings are where everybody’s happy except for the nasty beautiful girl who tried to thwart true love with Richard and Colin and Hugh and Channing…

      We need more of this. Lots, lots more of Ryan. And Sandra.

Shallowly, enthusiastically, chick-flickly yours,
Me

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26 comments

  1. Yes Yes Yes! we need more. Have you seen Friends with benefits. It doesnt work for your requirement not to see how many places they can have sex but at least they dont show it in detail too much. I am in love with that show because it's more real, guys still like it, its funny, and still has an amazingly happy ending!!!

  2. Yes i LOVED that one. Which surprised me because i was not a Justin Timberlake fan. But trust me, I am now a HUGE Justin fan. Oh and the scene at the end where he gets those people to do a flash mob for her? Wow. Romantic…*sigh*Cant believe i forgot to include Justin in my hot male leads listing…*scurries away to google pics of Justin*

  3. I was holding out to the end… 'The Proposal' is one of my most fave recent chick flicks! Always try to have chick flick nights with my sisters they are the best! Another fave of Ryan Reynolds 'Definitely Maybe'? or 'Love Actually' with Hugh Grant?, 'Notting Hill' …and my all time faves like '10 Things I hate about You', 'How to lose a guy in 10 Days', OR 'Never Been Kissed' *SIGH* Have you seen 'Something New' ? with the hot Simon 'Mentalist' Baker.. ok I'm going to stop because I could go on and on about chick-flicks.. enjoy them purely like you said 'happy endings'.. it's the BEST feeling after a movie to know it ended well. There is enough depressing realities in the news.. we don't need the movies repeating the same events. 🙂

  4. Can I just say, 'amen' and 'amen'? *gazing over to my limited collection of DVDs*: Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Pretty Woman, Selena (ok she died in that one but I personally think that was J.Lo's best screen performance, "it's a bra! bustier-kaka!"). . .I'm sensing a theme, here. Come on Hollywood!

  5. Exactly I'm such a sucker for sappy "long gazes". I get it, why doesn't my husband get it? Seriously I tell him he is dead inside because he just doesn't get my romantic movies. WHATEVER! I won't stop watching them. And was it just me or was I the only one hoping for Ryan and Sandra to be together for real? It's going to be a rainy weekend over here. Looks like my hubby will have to suffer through my romantic movie weekend =) YAY me! lol

  6. do you watch Bollywood movies? Some of my favorite love stories are bollywood. They are sweet and tender and they throw in fabulous songs and dancing. Try Om Shante Om, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, or anything with Shah Rukh Khan in it- he's amazing- but one warning, they do like their tragic love stories too so read the blurg and check reviews.

  7. this is why i switched to (don't laugh) bollywood for a while. three hours later and i come away feeling like i've read a great novel lol, experienced a musical, love story, drama, love triangle, a wedding, a thrilling twist, etc. and of course you get a fair share of prolonged romance without all the x rated hot scenes. i recommend first watching "Jodha Akbar" starring aishwarya rai. it has a hot male lead who is so dreamy, respectful, defends her honour, respects her wishes, fights for her, and of course has a chiselled bod! what's not to love?? would love to hear what you think!! to this day it is one of my fav movies 🙂

  8. Uh OH! I am one of those people who likes the movies where everybody is being chased by tanks/aliens/gangsters/ mercenaries/assassins /sex offenders/psychopathic killers!! If there's no kick butt action, I kind of get super bored. Does this mean there's something wrong with me? I will cut off my right arm before I ever watch The Notebook. And I prefer Wolverine to Leopold, but the other leading men can stay. Dibs on Gerard Butler!

  9. I feel you! I made my husband watch "P.S. I Love You". I was sobbing during one of the emotional scenes. My husband looks at me and starts laughing. So I punched him in the arm and told him that he better not die on me like Gerry did in the movie, lol. Then I told him that I better get mail, recordings, etc. if this were the case!! I'm selfish… me, me, me 😛

  10. I do love a great romance film. One I could picture myself in as the woman (although much hotter and younger) with the sexy male lead that is tough, yet sensitive. We conquer our fears and live happily ever after… then we start all over again. Oh yeah… love those movies 🙂

  11. Hey great blog post! I hear ya! It's hard to find a decent romance movie these days. I love Proposal because the leading actors had great chemistry. Ryan is amazing and Sandra Bullock is super amazing. Sandra Bullock's movie 'While you were sleeping' is also a great watch as well as The Lake House. I love happy endings and I'm also a sucker for movies where a down-to-earth girl gets the hot guy

  12. Ahhhh yes, I was totally hoping Ryan and Sandra would be a couple! LOL. I cant stand the skinny little chick hes with in the news now. Ugh. Darren will go to the chickflicks with me and he does like SOME of them. But then I have to trade off and go to a kill kill movie with him the next time. Nice thing is that our son is 16 and can go to the movies with his Dad now, so I can send them off together and I stay home and rent a chickflick on dvd.LOL

  13. Clearly we can no longer be blogger friends Lan. This is the end of the road for us…*sigh* You must go your alien killer path and I must walk WITH Gerard Butler down the path of chick flick romantic comedy. Im very sorry! LOL

  14. In Samoa, some Bollywood films would come on TV and me and my girls would be RAPT. They do have it all – the music, the dancing, and esp the chiselled bod. I havent seen any since moving here and I really should. Thanks for the recommendation. will let you know how it goes. ( i can see a Bollywood blog post coming up…)

  15. This is a real old school one .. but i love it! it gets me everytime. Demi Moore and Rob Lowe in "About Last ight". Hands down romantic comedy at it's best! A classic. Btw, I enjoy reading your blogs.

  16. Why don't we negotiate a treaty. I will take Gerard ala 300 and Law Abiding Citizen and you can have him ala The Bounty Hunter and PS I Love You. Have you ever seen Paperback Hero? one of Hugh Jackmans best before he made it big in Hollywood

  17. A brilliant compromise re: Gerard! I dont think we can divvy up Hugh Jackman so peacably though. I am greatly enraptured by Wolverine AS WELL AS the romance chick flick Hugh Jackman…Havent seen Paperback Hero, thanks for the tip. Will have to check Hugh out. I mean the movie, out!

  18. Is it me, or have most movies been a "let down" recently? All genres. I agree with the happy ending ingredient; that's one of the best things about romantic flicks. As far as I'm concerned, if it doesn't have a happy ending it's a tragedy not a romance. I would also add amazing chemistry and witty writing to the list. I'm excited to see how the new channing tatum, rachel mcadams movie measures up.

  19. Oops! I'm very guilty of loving the depressing, somber, deeply moving, intellectually stimulating, profound movies that Sundance churn out yearly and only Rialto Cinemas would screen lol My sister loves to mock me about this. Upon watching a preview that's pretty much a montage of crying scenes, she'll say "looks like something Donna would enjoy". In my defence, 'When Harry met Sally' is also a favourite. What kinda girl would I be if I didn't (guiltily) enjoy the odd romcom? ;)xx

  20. Absolutely LOVE coming across blog posts that hit it on the head! I feel the very same way about the kinds of movies I would like to give two hours of my already limited schedule to. 🙂 I don't care about what aliens, or secret weapons, or war movies. I care even less about those philosophical-life-lesson movies. You named many of my FAVES. Kate & Leopold…LOVE It. Sleepless in Seattle…LOVE It. PROPOSAL…EXTRA Love it. Lake House fits in perfectly with this group. :)Looking forward to following this blog in the future!

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