You Is Beautiful

A message for the Single Ladies from Samoa. (But not the skinny ones.)

I got in to New Orleans at 1am and went straight to the hotel which is in the French Quarter. Couldnt sleep because I’m on Samoa time and at 7.30am I was up and out for a walk, doing the tourist thing as the city slowly woke up.
There’s feathers and gators, blues and horses.

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As a donut freak connoseiur, of course I had to go to Cafe du Monde and get beignets. Which I then savored scrumptiously while sitting in Jackson Park and enjoying the sounds of a street jazz musician.

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Then this happened: Walking along Canal Street, an elderly gentleman stopped me.
“Can ah please ask whea you from?”
Me – “I’m from Samoa.”
“Whea is dat?”
I explained. He then asked, “Ahh hope you dont mind me aaskin, but ahh you  married mizz?”
Me – “Yes I am.”
“Aahm sorry to hea that.” Shook his head sorrowfully. “You aah so beautiful, ahh seen you walkin by and aah aint nevah seen anyone look like you befoah, aahh just had to find out whea you from.”
Me – “Thank you.” What a fabulous city this is! Random compliments on a meandering morning walk!  So he looks about sixty years old but hey, one is grateful for gracious compliments whenever one can get them.

“Do aaallll the wimen in Saamowah look like you? Can you please tell dem to come hea to Nawlins? Coz you married but can your single sistahs come visit?”

Me (laughing, because, y’know… I’m beautiful and it’s a beautiful day in a beautiful city) – “Sure, I’ll let them know.”
#FeelingGood cos #YouIsBeautiful #YouIsImportant… Pharell Williams is singing real loud #BecauseImHappy

Then he added. “Yeah tell the beautiful ladies in Saamowah we would really appreciate dem hea. Y’know, beautiful ladies like you with meat on dem. Curves. We dont like dem skinny girls, all dem bones.” He grimaced. “No dont like dem skinny wimmen.” He held his hands out wide and repeated. “Beautiful with some meat on ’em.”

WTH?!  #BecauseImHappy song scratched abruptly. Did he have to hold his hands out THAT wide?!  Dammit.

Me, not laughing anymore – “Okay thank you. Bye now.”

Then I went and ate another beignet. Because you know, that’s what beautiful women ‘with meat on dem’ do when they’re in New Orleans.

But I’m passing on the message – single ladies from Samoa who are not skinny? You will find great beignets and random 60 year old admirers here. Come quickly.

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6 comments

  1. haha! speaking as one of dem wide gals watch out for dem random southern gents! Be careful walking by yourself though. Enjoy that beautiful city and compliments, can’t wait to hear more of your trip!

  2. Haha nice one 🙂 Oh, and if you’re single and Samoan (or any Islander, really) go to Ireland. I got hit on so much I had to go to the toilet and hide at one point. Haha

  3. Hahahaha!!! Too funny. I will never understand why old men don’t quite get how some of the stuff they say is offensive. Even to me. I’m “skinny” but I get the pervy old men who have a thing for women who are “of age” but look like they’re 16, and dont understand why I get offended when they say so.

    While you’re there, try out willies chicken shak on bourbon street. My fiance and I had it almost every day when we went there last year. They have yummy biscuits with honey on them, and pretty good drinks and music, but I love the red beans and rice the most.

    There’s also some good pralines down there, try some at some of the praline stores, the ones where they actually make it, not the touristy ones where they’re all boxed up on some random shelf.

    Hope you’re having a great time. The one reason I love NOLA the most is because of the food….and of course bourbon street drinks/parties.

  4. love it!!! so proud of your accomplishments sis!! keep ’em coming, with you there is always a good read, thank you!!!

  5. you should totally go check out Marie Delphine LaLaurie’s house of horror, that could highlight the glitterly gothic voodoo of your New Orlans tour. Quick question, what do you do when you’re in writer’s block?

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